Visual Intensity 4/Visual Intensity - Issue 4 (1994-05-29)(Dual 4Mat)(Disk 2 of 3).adf/Misc/095/095

Text File | 1978-01-04 | 5KB | 168 lines

{te{L{7
     R E P L Y   T O   T H E   W O R L D ' S   M O S T   O V E R A T E D

                               W R E S T L E R S
{C{9
                                 by SABLE/INDY

{A{5  Now it may well be possible that Nab
wrote  that  article  in VI3 as a very
obscure joke in which case I apologise
for  this  letter,  however if this is
not  the  case  (as  I suspect) then I
think  a few comments have to be made.
This  article  is not really a stab at
Nab  (I'm  a poet and no one even told
me)  it's  more of a scream of rage at
people like him.
  Firstly,  how  can  people sit there
and  provide  criticism  of wrestling?
It's the most fixed thing in the whole
universe,  I'm  assuming that not even
they  can  say  "Oh  no,  it really is







happening  and  they  don't  plan  all
their  moves  in advance" for this, if
you  do  think that, then I fear there
is  no hope for you.  However, if like
the  rest  of  the people in the world
they  understand  that  the  only real
skill  these  'wrestlers'  have  is an
amazing  ability  to  overact (sure it
must take some physical effort but not
half  as  much  as they make out) then
you  will  realise how stupid it is to
say  that  one wrestler is better than
another.   No wrestler gets to the top
of  the ladder by his amazing athletic
skill  and  instead  the  winners  are
{te{A{5obviously  chosen  before  the  fight.
You  said  "how he [sting] beats these
big  guys  is  a complete mystery", if
you must know the reason he beats guys
that  should  be able to beat the shit
out  of  him is because he was told to
win about a week before the fight came
up.   If this isn't true then how come
the  British Bulldog won that fight he
did  over  here?  A bit lucky that, eh
winning  the  big  title just when the
fight  was in Britain.  I'm sure there
are  loads  more  examples but I never
watch  wrestling  so  I  wouldn't know
about  them.  So, therefore saying "oh
this  wrestler is overrated because of
his skill" is a load of bollox because
one bloke could be really athletic and
the  other  a  bag  of  lard  and  the
lardarse could still be chosen to win.
  Secondly  I'd  like  to point out to
you that you've actually sat there and
watched  so much wrestling that you've
memorized  the  names of these people,
does  this  not  strike  you  as a bit
pointless.   I'll  watch anything once
and  true  I  did  spend  a  few weeks
watching  the  wrestling when we first
got  Sky  but  by  the time I realized
that  A)  these  people  were the most
pathetic  overactors  in the world, B)
every  fight  is the same (if it's one
good bloke and one crap bloke then the
good  bloke beats the shit out of him,
and  if  it's  two good blokes then it
will  start off even, then one of them
will  start  to  lose  and  then  will
suddenly  come back at the end to beat
the other guy) and C) it's bullshit, I
finally  decided  I  never  wanted  to
watch  it  again.   I mean, when I was
watching it they had this voodoo bloke
on it and he'd come on and perform all
these rubbish rituals and set light to
{te{A{5people's feet and stuff, but by magic.
Now  anyone can see this is just shit,
so  if  you don't believe this how can
the rest of it be taken as true?
  Well,   that's  just  my  view  (and
actually  the  view of everyone I know
in  the whole world, but there you go)
feel  free  to argue if you want but I
think  you'll  be laughed off the mag.
I  have  to  admit that quite a lot of
(well  some)  people  watch  wrestling
just     because    they    find    it
entertaining,   like   Neighbours  for
example,  no  one thinks Neighbours is
real  (it's not real, what do you mean
it's not real?) yet people still watch
it   and   I  can  understand  someone
watching    wrestling    for   similar
reasons, but watching WWF just because
you think it's real is a bit sad.


{A{6Sparkle   speaks   (and   thou   shalt
listen!):  Did anyone see Wrestlemania
X?   What  a  load of bollox that was,
there I was waiting patiently for Hulk
Hogan  to  be  announced as one of the
special guest referees and was he?  No
he  sodding  wasn't!   Mr  Perfect and
Rowdy  Roddy  Piper.  I know these two
are  the  best  but  without the Hulk,
Wrestlemania  just  isn't the same.  I
think  this  is the first Wrestlemania
ever  not  to have the Hulkster in it.
And  did anyone see the banners in the
crowd,  a vast majority of them seemed
to  have  "Ric  Flair.   -  Real world
champion"  on them.  And he isn't even
in  the  WWF  anymore.  Bring back the
Hulk  and  bring  back  the Nature boy
'cos a match between them would be the
best ever entertainment on television.
WOO!   as Ric would say (Hey he got it
right!)  And  what is it with Bret the
{te{A{6hitman Hart?  He's a tosser!  The King
Jerry  Lee  Lawler forever!  Doink the
clown  is  a  good  laugh  but  he was
better  when  he was a bad guy.  Bring
back the Beverly Brothers too!  And of
course,   L.O.D.    and  The  Ultimate
Warrior!  Then maybe people will start
enjoying it again.
{A{:
                                  End.



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